Flirting After 50 - Use It or Lose It

I’ve made a conscious effort to be out of my apartment at least three nights a week and tonight...well, tonight is a Single’s Meet-Up at Bahama Breeze, a restaurant not too far from where I live. Gotta tell you, I’m actually nervous on a couple of levels. First off, what am I going to wear? It can’t be too dressy but not work-looking either. I tried on a couple of outfits this morning before going to work and they would have been perfect a mere 10 pounds ago. I’d like to appear confident and subtly sexy but not over the top. Next, how am I going to manage my time? I have to leave work, go home and decide what to wear, get a shower again (did this right before I left for work), shave my legs again (again-did it this morning) because ya never know....then drop by my girl friend’s house for a gold party at 6pm, sell my wedding ring real quick, then head back across town and be at Bahama Breeze by 6:30 for an evening of fun. Third, it hit me this morning: what on God’s green earth am I doing? I’ve forgotten how to flirt, how to send out those “Come here you hunka, hunka burnin’ love” pheromones. Right now, I’m so panicked about tonight that I can’t think of a single interesting thing to keep in mind as a topic of conversation. And how do I know that if I meet a man that I actually like, how am I supposed to let him know I’m interested if I can’t remember how to flirt? What are the rules now? Do I give him my card and hope he calls or should I ask him to meet me for a cup of coffee sometime soon (at my place perhaps, naked perhaps? Just Kidding, Just Kidding!!!!).
How did wanting to have a little fun at 52 get to be so stressful? I just can’t believe the single world should be this scary to me and I wonder how I got to this point where I feel like I’ve forgotten how to be a woman. But deep down, I know what happened. I fell in love. I got married and concentrated only on him and forgot about me as a woman – I was only a wife and mother. I was in a grocery story long ago with my daughter and as we walked out she started laughing. When I asked her what was so funny she said, “Mo-om, (in that “Mom-you’re-so-dumb” voice that 12 year old girls do so well) didn’t you see that guy checking you out? He was talking to you and never took his eyes off your eyes....”. What does that say about me that my 12 year old daughter noticed and I didn’t? Anyway, she went on to point out that the guy was flirting with me and I didn’t even notice. I didn’t have the slightest clue because I wasn’t looking for it. Hmmm, is that the clue??? I should be looking for signals from men? What are their signals? I’ve honestly forgotten! And if I’m supposed to be looking for their signals, and still sending out my own “You are so cute/sexy/sweet” signals, who goes first? And OMG I just had another thought about tonight...what if I get there and I’m invisible? I’m about to break out in a cold sweat! Maybe I’ll just stay home after all. This seems like too much work for something that’s supposed to be fun. I’ve heard that certain skills need to be used or they are quickly lost, like a beautiful singing voice: it will get rusty if not used. But who would have thought that flirting after 50 would be a use it or lose it skill? Maybe tonight will be Remedial Woman 101 for me.