Saturday with my mother. We went to Long’s Plant Farm and bought huge bright yellow mums to place on the alter at her church. Grace, one of the resident farm cats absolutely adored mom and was constantly rubbing up against her leg or hopping up on the flower stands and walking over to nudge mom’s hand for petting and loving. Mom's laughter at the cat’s sweet attention hung in the air. It was a young girl's laugh - all light and tinkly – like the music from those old fashioned small rectangle glass wind chimes. It had been so long since I'd heard her laugh in just that way and it warmed my soul to be with her in that moment to hear it once again. The day was sunny and bright with just a hint of summer’s warmth left in it. We headed home and spent a lovely afternoon baking Chocolate Delight and Mississippi Mud Cake for her church’s annual Homecoming Celebration the next day. This was such a beautiful clip of time that it will remain in my heart’s memory for the rest of my life.
Saturday with my stepfather. Pa spent Saturday in the family room, in his recliner. He slept most of the day. I checked on him every ten minutes or so. His bright blue pajamas couldn’t lift the pallor from his skin. He had pulled the blanket up under his chin to try to get warm, even though it was 73 degrees in the room. Pa woke up every few minutes to run to the bathroom – a horrifically constant side effect of his third round of chemo in the last two years. Every once in a while he’d join in the conversation for a minute or two as if he was reminding himself, as well as us, that he was still with us. I leaned over to kiss his forehead. He glanced up at me, almost as if he was seeing me for the first time. His eyes carry a new knowledge. He's awaiting Homecoming as well. As we held each other’s gaze for one splintery sharp moment, he nodded his love at me and I nodded mine back to him. This too is emblazoned in my heart’s memory for the rest of my life.
Baking with my mother for their church homecoming and watching my stepfather waste away from this damn cancer ~ such a dichotomy of life this weekend.
